Whatever Happens, Whatever Comes
by ByWillowy
Summary: Extension of the scene in Scarecrow where JJ embraces her Spence after hearing the news about Diana.


"Is there anything I can do…?"

Reid pauses before answering. "I don't know."

She says the first thing that comes to mind, as she moves in to embrace him. The thing she always says that seems to help him feel less alone, feel less scared.

"I'm sorry."

He buries his face into her shoulder, then rests his chin there, his long arms encircling her as he feels hers go around him, holding him tight, holding him up.

She's always there for him when it's important. Sometimes he didn't know what he'd do without her. She's his best friend, and the most important woman in his life besides his mom. She understands him, she supports him, and he knows she always will.

His tears fall lightly as he feels her squeeze tighter. This isn't the place for an emotional display, but he… he doesn't know how to fix this. He's filled with dread and angst and morbid fear and she understands all of it, he knows. He lets himself be comforted by her strong embrace, feels her gently rub her temple against his. He doesn't want to let her go, but he does, always the first to end their hugs, so she'll never have a reason to let go first.

But she holds him tighter, then softens her grip. She pulls him to her again, not letting him get away just yet. His hands touch her back once more, catching her soft hair and he allows his palms to curl just enough to slip the soft strands through his fingers. He revels in her extended closeness, his sadness ebbing, her strength filling up his own.

"Spence," she whispers. She pulls slightly back, looking into his worried, dear face. She's afraid for him, afraid for what this will do to him if the worst were to happen. Her hands go to his face, and she catches his unsure, shifting gaze in her own.

"Whatever comes, I'm here. I'm with you", she says. "Got it?" Her thumbs stroke his cheekbones as she raises her eyebrows, making sure he's heard her.

He's captured by her blazing blue eyes, awash in them, knowing full well how fierce they become when she's vehement about something.

"JJ..." he says, his voice just a creak.

"Do you need me to go with you? Spence we're getting a new agent. Emily will okay it, you know she will."

Everything in him wanted to scream yes. He wanted to pick her up and kiss her and let her know that he could endure anything with her by his side.

But her boys, her family… he couldn't be responsible for adding to the already high tally of "away" days she had to take from them. It's true, Emily would let her go with him, he knew... but he couldn't ask it of her, no matter what he wanted for himself.

He takes her hands from his face and squeezes, bringing them down between them, not letting go. He tries to smile, in that tentative way he has. He meets her gaze.

"No, JJ. I love you for asking and I appreciate that more… _much_ more than you know. There's no way I can ask you to step away from your family just to come to Houston with me," he finished.

"Then don't ask. In case you've forgotten, _you're_ family too."

He did smile at that. Then, dropping her hands he added "Jennifer, listen. This right here is what I needed. I'll be fine, better than fine. I know what may happen and I know now that I can handle whatever comes. I've got you on my side, and that's far better than having you _by_ my side right now when I know how much your kids need you.

She stared at him a long minute, crossing her arms. She took a step forward, closing the space that had opened between them.

"Alright. I expect regular updates. Like every couple of hours at the least. Promise me, Spence."

She knew she was the only one that could get away with bossing him around like this. She knew he'd listen to her and stick to his promise. She liked it.

"I'll do my best," he answered softly, lifting his eyes to hers once again.

* * *

He sat at the gate at Dulles International, nervously flipping his ticket over and over in his hands. He'd been in touch with the facility in Houston and Diana was stable for the time being. If she were getting the placebo, as he intended to find out, it was important that she was recused from the study so she could resume her previous prescription regimen.

Letting her off of it in the first place was a risk, both to her health, and her sanity. Spencer had felt it was a risk they had had to take, yet now he was wondering if his decision may have done her irreparable harm. In his desperation for a new and promising result, did he make a rash decision in submitting her for the study?

There was a slight delay as his flight was held to wait for some connecting passengers and he fidgeted with misplaced guilt and impatience. The sooner he got in the air, the sooner he'd be there with his mom, able to see for himself the extent of her condition, and if they should continue with the trial.

His mind filled with Diana and her predicament, he missed hearing the boarding call and flinched when he noticed the gate was now empty of everyone but himself. He jumped up just as the gate attendant moved to close the door to the jetway. "Wait!", he semi-shouted, adjusting his leather satchel as he scurried to the door and into the jetway. The attendant smiled at him as she checked his seat assignment, and let him through.

Once settled in his preferred window seat, he looked out the window at the overcast, gray day and considered how much it reflected his mood of late. JJ came to mind, as she usually did, and he thought of her support, her warmth, and, unbidden, the way she had felt in his arms. He wished he could have selfishly asked her to come, to be there with him during this trying, and what was sure to be a difficult time. He wished for the millionth time that there was a way… any way… that she could be with him, fully his, and he hers.

The Flight Attendant walked past and he stopped her and asked "Excuse me, why aren't we taking off?"

She smiled at him and said, "We're still waiting on a passenger." Then she leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, "FBI." Spencer's eyes widened and she nodded knowingly before continuing down the aisle.

Spencer raised his eyebrows and turned back to look out the window when he detected a most familiar scent of jasmine. He quickly turned to look for the source, and there she stood, smiling at him, her go-bag slung on her shoulder.

"Thought you could escape without me, hmm?" she said.

Stunned and elated, he couldn't help but launch the full force of his beaming smile directly at her. He tried standing up to take her bag and hit his head on the call button.

JJ laughed as she moved to take the seat next to his, stowing her bag under the seat. "It's okay Spence, I got it," she said.

They both sat, smiling, and he said "I should've known you were the "FBI" we were waiting for."

"Yeah, that one was tough to make happen at the last minute. Had to pull rank and flash my badge at the ticket counter to get them to hold the flight."

"How'd you score the seat next to mine?" he asked.

They met each other's eyes and said "Garcia" in unison. They both smiled at that, then Spencer sobered.

"You know you didn't need to come," he said, his voice just above a whisper.

She met his hazel eyes with her own blue, slid her hand into his and said, "Yeah. I did."

He squeezed her hand and said "Thank you, JJ."

She leaned close and said "It's going to be okay, Spence. Whatever happens."

"It is now," he said.


End file.
